What I am about to say is going to be harsh but bluntly transparent. Please don’t judge and feel free to comment to let me know I’m not the only one out here who sometimes feels like this ok:)!
Motherhood is not for the faint of heart; it’s very hard. It takes a lot of patience, which though painfully to admit in this situation, is not one of my strong suits. I think the most disheartening part is I really feel like I’m trying my very best. However, between the screaming (not crying), high pitched squealing tantrums, attitudes and developing personalities, sometimes I feel like “I can’t do this, f***ing s**t”. Sometimes I just want to lock myself in the closet and never come out. Or while we are out I’ve even thought about slinking away in the crowd and running away forever:)! But the guilt of actually doing that makes me re-evaluate.
Yes I know it’s horrible to have these thoughts and I am probably going to hell or be in trouble for admitting them aloud. LOL! Don’t get me wrong I love my babies and my husband and I would never ever, ever, ever leave them under ANY circumstances. But sometimes mommy needs a break before she breaks. Jesus be a fence.