SENSUAL SATURDAYS POEM

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For Martin…

Let’s illuminate the night
Just you and I

Soar to higher heights

Where gravity defies

Be my partner

Be my lover, homie, friend

Know me spiritually

Mentally, emotionally

And biblically

Let’s illuminate the night
Just you and I

Till night
Becomes day

Words of Wisdom

Once you get exposed to what’s really happening in the world, and other people’s realities, you just can’t ever not know, and you can’t ever wake up and pretend it’s not happening.

Angelina Jolie

The Diary of a First Time Mom of Twins: The Ice Cream Thieves

Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to set the scene if you will…

Monday morning I traveled to the grocery store in order to get food in my house in preparing for Hurricane Irma. I carefully selected items for dinners and even a snack for my munchkins (lemonade icees). And for myself, after careful weighing of multiple options, I choose this wonderfulness below:

Doesn’t the name alone ooze marvelousness?

Audience Imagine letting that ice cream sit in your freezer for a day. And preparing your mouth after a long, draining day at the office for this piece of heavenly goodness only to find this when you open the container:

Do you understand the specturm of emotions I experienced all within .5 seconds? DO YOU? Perplexed, Anger, Hurt, Sadness, grabbling with the thoughts of beating my kids (I didn’t, but I did think about it) then the Empty VOID set in.

How did my husband allow these children to eat my beautiful ice cream that I was planning on consummating my love with tonight? Why would these two little monsters deprive me of the peace of heaven I had prepared my taste buds for? WHHHHYYY?

I am their mother I was pregnant with them for 38 weeks and 5 days. I threw up every single day (and I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY) in my pregnancy. I had pups and suffered a heart arrhythmia. How dare they take this away from me?

Tell me WHERE IS THE Justice? WHERE IS THE Justice?

Rant

There is absolutely too much going on in the world sometimes it is just too much to stomach. Just last week Rohingya children were beheaded and civilians burned

They raping and putting babies in freezers in Chicago and the are attempting to lynch a 8 year bi racial boy in New Hampshire

As I read these headlines I am not only empathetic but burdened with sadness and guilt

Why am I not as aware or “woke” regarding these issues? Why have I/ we as citizens of the world chosen to live in this bubble? Is it to protect ourselves, our families and children? Because let’s face it despite racism, police brutality, rape, homicides and genocide we are all just trying to keep our head down and make the best of life for ours as best we can.

As a black woman, a mother and wife to black men.

Where do we find sanctuary?

Where do my people find solace and equality?

The times we are living in and the incidents occurring are absolutely despicable and these wrongs should not have happened to these babies

I saw a post on social media where an outraged man said “the boy is biracial, I guess the thought he was black” and he kind of said it very dismissively. Though it seemed like he was coming from a good place that part of his statement gave me pause. Would it have been acceptable if in fact the little boy were not bi racial? Would there be the same out rage? More importantly, why the fuck are lynchings still happening in 2017?

Would a mother of a different race have to wait almost 5 hours to see the dead body of her child?

As I sit and ponder it hit me that I am one generation from integration, how scary is that?

People deserve life, liberty and happiness, whatever that may look like for them.

No one should have to fear for or endure the deaths of their child.

What are we doing? How can we be better?

The Diary of a First Time Mom of Twins: Accidents Happen💦

When you cuddle with your children and fall asleep in your bed sometimes you wake up in a puddle or two… at 1am 🤦🏽‍♀️😢. I knew I should have gotten up to make them pee. Luckily it was only one puddle! Everybody’s potty training is different, for us nighttime is still a bit of a struggle. Almost there though🙏🏽